Saturday night we cut off Laura's hair. Thanks to her brother John we were all able to gather together and watch as the hair fell. I have to admit that I was quite uneasy with the thought of the event, but as the week progressed a peace came over both of us.
What we thought would be a major move of emotion became a time to declare God's goodness. As the hair was being cut Laura was talking about how good God has been to her. "God has been so good to me through this entire cancer battle, and this is one more step toward the end."
We have started to look at the cancer as steps. We know that in order for Laura to walk into her cure she will move through some very tough challenges. Yet with every challenge conquered comes a much stronger Laura. Dr. Gize remarked to me the other day that I have "one strong lady for a wife." I already knew that, but it seems she is gaining more strength as the journey unfolds.
The kids each processed the event in their own way, but in the end we were all laughing and once again felt calm and at peace. The fun moment came when Bella was introduced to a bald momma. "Where did all your hair go?" she asked. What was truly funny was within a matter of seconds Laura stepped out of the bathroom with her wig on. This really confused poor Bella a bunch. It was pretty funny.
What I saw emerge was something of beauty. Laura walked into the time ready. The timing was right. We had time to mentally prepare and the kids were with us in a safe place where we could all experience the moment in our own way. Even more, Laura's brother John had the clippers. Having his hands on Laura's head made her feel especially safe and secure.
I wondered what Laura would look like bald. Actually I was worried a bit. I was concerned for her emotionally as well as the kids, and myself.
We laughed our way through it and as the hair fell a new image of my wife appeared. It was truly something beautiful. She was confident, strong, smiling, laughing and praising God all at the same time. She was truly beautiful. I have always felt this way, but there was something different about this moment.
As we drove home Saturday night I realized that we had just lived through another "first" in our marriage. This was truly a defining moment for us. One I never hope to repeat again, but one that has marked us all.
I am so thankful for God's sustaining grace He poured out in the moment and continues to this very day.
We are watching our kids grow in their dependence on the Lord.
We are watching our kids grow more tender to one another.
We are seeing ways God is demonstrating His kindness to us in ways we have never experienced before.
What I am realizing about our cancer journey is that the Lord is using it to open my eyes to what I have failed to see before. I am witnessing the beauty of His grace emerge in unexpected ways.
Laura's last appointment with Dr. Gize went extremely well. It appears the cancer is softening and her blood counts are stronger than before she started chemo. Such results are unusual. Hmmm.
We count that another indication of the Lord's working in unexpected ways.
Eph. 3:20 - Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.